Have I Made the Wrong Decision… Or Is My Anxiety Talking?
If anxiety has ever made you question something you were once so sure about, you’re not alone.
There was a time in my life when I thought that if I was questioning something, it meant something had to be wrong.
If I suddenly started doubting a decision, I assumed I’d made the wrong one.
If I questioned a relationship, I wondered if I was with the wrong person.
The thoughts felt so convincing that I believed I had to figure them out immediately. If I could just find the answer, surely I’d feel better.
For me, it reached a point where I was questioning almost everything.
I became so consumed by trying to work out what was wrong with me that I couldn’t see another possibility.
Looking back now, I realise I wasn’t looking for answers.
I was looking for certainty.
Years later, receiving my ADHD diagnosis changed the way I understood those experiences. It didn’t erase every anxious thought, but it gave me something I hadn’t had before.
Compassion.
I realised my brain wasn’t trying to ruin my life.
It was trying to protect me.
And once I understood that, I could stop fighting my thoughts and start getting curious about them instead.
why questioning everything Can Feel So Real
Have you ever noticed how anxiety can completely change the way you see something?
- Maybe you were excited about moving house.
- Starting a new job.
- Beginning a relationship.
- Launching a business.
- Planning a holiday.
Then suddenly, almost overnight, your brain starts asking:
“What if this is a mistake?”
“What if I don’t really want this?”
“What if I’ve completely got this wrong?”
Those thoughts can feel incredibly real.
So real that it’s easy to believe they must mean something.
For some people with ADHD, experiences such as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can make those thoughts feel even more intense. For others, it may simply be anxiety taking over during a stressful season of life.
Whatever the reason, it can leave you feeling frightened, confused, and desperate to find certainty.
Let’s Untangle It Together
If you’re reading this, I’d love you to pause for just a minute.
You don’t need to solve anything right now.
You don’t need to decide whether your thoughts are true or false.
Let’s simply get curious together.
Can I ask you something?
When did these thoughts first become louder?
Not what they’re saying.
Not whether they’re true.
Just… when did they get louder?
Take a moment to think about it.
Was it after something changed?
After a stressful week?
After taking on too much?
After a difficult conversation?
Sometimes we become so focused on answering the thoughts that we never stop to ask where they came from.
Now let’s slow it down a little more.
Imagine those anxious thoughts are sitting in front of you instead of racing around inside your head.
What’s the main thing they’re trying to convince you of?
Maybe it’s…
“I’ve made the wrong decision.”
“Something doesn’t feel right.”
“I need to figure this out now.”
When anxiety takes over, those thoughts don’t just feel believable.
They feel urgent.
It’s as if your brain is saying,
“Keep thinking. Keep analysing. If you can just work this out, you’ll finally feel better.”
So you do.
You replay conversations.
You look for signs.
You ask other people what they think.
You search for reassurance.
You go over the same thoughts again and again, hoping this time you’ll finally land on the answer that finally makes everything feel okay.
Can I ask you another question?
Has all of that thinking actually helped you feel safe?
Or has it made the thoughts even louder?
…
Sometimes that’s where everything begins to shift.
Because maybe your brain isn’t asking you to solve your relationship.
Or your job.
Or your move.
Maybe it’s asking you to feel safe.
They’re two very different things.
So instead of asking yourself,
“How do I make these thoughts stop?”
Try asking,
“What is this thought trying to protect me from?”
Maybe it’s rejection.
Maybe it’s failure.
Maybe it’s uncertainty.
Maybe it’s getting hurt.
Whatever the answer is, notice that you’ve already shifted your perspective.
You’re no longer fighting with your thoughts.
You’re beginning to understand them.
And understanding creates space.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re questioning everything right now, I want you to know this.
Questioning doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the wrong relationship.
The wrong career.
The wrong house.
Or the wrong future.
Sometimes it simply means your mind is exhausted from trying to protect you.
Be gentle with yourself.
You don’t have to untangle every thought today.
Just start with one.
And if it feels impossible to untangle on your own, you don’t have to.
At Your ADHD Space, that’s exactly what we do.
We slow things down.
We untangle the noise.
And together, we create space for you to hear your own voice again.
If you’d like support untangling thoughts like these, you can learn more about my ADHD coaching.
